Weddings

Because my family has attended several weddings this Summer, and still more to come I thought I would post some wedding etiquette in regards to children, specifically the ring bearer and flower girl. My son has already been a ring bearer in one wedding and will do so again in a couple of weeks. . . weddings have been on our mind a lot lately!


I didn't write any of these guidelines, but I do agree with them! Enjoy.

*The parents of the flower girl and ring bearer should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. However, many rehearsal dinners can go as late as 10:00 pm or even later. Therefore, it is recommended that the children not attend the dinner, especially if it is the night before the wedding. Think, think, think! Do you want a grumpy child the next morning who didn't get enough sleep? Its not fair to the child nor the event. Talk with the parents to see if a babysitter could be arranged ahead of time..

*During the ceremony, the flower girl will stand near the bridesmaids and the ring bearer will stand near the groomsmen during the entire ceremony. However, if the child is fidgety or is very young, you can give him or  her the option of sitting with her family during the ceremony. This may be a good idea if the ceremony is long. Have his or her parents sit near the front if you choose this option.

*Agreeing to be in the wedding generally also means agreeing to buy an outfit. Usually, child attendants' parents pay for their clothes, but you might choose to purchase a flower girl's dress or ring bearer's suit as a gift. Decide how you're going to handle it, then go ahead and bring this up at the same time you ask the parents' permission for the tykes to be in the wedding. That way, there's no chance of a misunderstanding.

*As a general rule, when choosing children to take part in your wedding as a flower girl or ring bearer, it is usually best (or at least more predictable) to have children ages four and above. Of course, each child is different and you'll want to consider their individual personality (very shy vs. outgoing) and maturity level as well. If a child is so nervous about going down the isle, do not push the issue, simply find something else in the wedding for them to do.

*In the weeks before the wedding day, start talking to your flower girl and ring bearer about the events that will take place before and throughout the wedding day. Get them excited! Explain what they will wear, where they will go, where they will stand and what they will have to do. The better young children can visualize their role in the wedding, the better prepared they will be to cooperate and participate as you would like them to. Children want to please, so make sure that the bride, planner or parents teach the children what is expected of them before the big day.

*Choose outfits for the children that are comfortable. Choose comfortable fabrics - - ones that don't scratch or irritate the skin. Just know how you feel when you are wearing something you want to tear off! The most important tip that we can give you is buy something that the child LIKES to wear. Do you remember how you were when you were a kid? Involve them in the selection of their wedding attire. If they feel pretty or handsome, it will show in their attitude and behavior. Be sure the children wear comfortable shoes, and if the shoes are new - that they have a chance to "break them in" prior to the wedding day.

*Take your pictures with the flower girl and ring bearer as early in the day as possible --preferably before the ceremony, if you can. There is less chance that their outfits could get dirty, torn, or wrinkled... you know how kids are! We've seen some Kool-Aid stained children go down the isle because children were left unattended. Try to take their clothes to the site and put them on there so they stay fresh. Your child will appreciate that they only have to be dressed up as little time as possible.

*Kids are unpredictable! All the practice and preparation in the world does not mean that they will perform their role "flawlessly". Don't expect perfection. Remember, if it doesn't go just as planned, it will make for entertaining clips in your wedding video. The most important thing to remember is that they are human, and just because they don't do things perfectly, doesn't mean its the end of the world.