Questions. . .

As a woman, even more so as a mother I find myself always asking myself a lot of questions. All day, everyday I am wondering something. I go through the day thinking thoughts like this:

(While feeding my son lunch) Why must he always throw his plate on the floor?
(While cleaning off my deck) Why do I always kill flowers?
(During naptime) Why can I never get everything done?
(While trying to clean up after my husband for the zillionth time) Why did I marry an asshole?

Once the day has calmed down and I don't feel so overwhelmed I start to find the answers to my questions.
Because he is still a BABY.
Because you water too much.
Because you spend too much time on facebook.
You didn't, he isn't perfect but neither are you.

I know that there will always be questions and there will always be answers. I may not always get the answers that I want, but they will always be there. As a wife and a mother I have very high expectations of myself. Multiply that with my type a student personality that is never satisfied with my work leads me to feel overwhelmed a lot. I am a work in progress. Sometimes it is hard to work on a project that you know will never be finished. Each of us are just like that, lifelong projects that need constant work and improvement. Right now I am trying to work on NOT becoming overwhelmed as often as I have been. I need to take my life one day at a time, even one hour at a time on some days.

Someone said to me several weeks ago (although obvious and could have gone unsaid) the person said "nobody is perfect." Well duh. I don't want to be perfect in reality, I just want to take care of all of my responsibilities, including husband, child, student, family and friends and do it well.

Sometimes it just helps to take a step back, look at yourself and think about what you can do to make yourself better.