In-Laws

While shopping at one of my favorite stores this week (Target) I overheard two girls having a conversation about their in-laws. The conversation sounded like it had the usual complaints about in-laws that everyone has heard but one thing struck me as odd when I heard one of the ladies say "I hate in-laws." Well. . . If you have in-laws then you are an in-law right????

Here are my thoughts:

Having in-laws and being an in-law is not always an easy. Before getting all bent out of shape about your in-law situation think about it. It isn't easy for anyone to be thrown into another family, or for a family to have some stranger thrown into their family unit. Just because their son or daughter loves you doesn't always mean it is easy for that family to love you-this goes both ways.

I have four sisters-in-law and three brothers-in-law on top of the parents and grandparents-in-law. I always try to keep certain things in mind whenever conflict or hurt feelings arise. One of the most important things is to be fair and consistent. For instance, if I am upset with something my husbands sister does I stop and think if I would be upset if my brothers wife did the same thing. Before getting upset with anyone I try to really think about what is going on and decide whether I am really upset about what happened, or if I am upset about who did it. That is key. If you've ever had conflict with any family member you know that you can get stuck in a feeling of always being ready to be angry. You might justify this as just being prepared and anticipate the bad stuff, but you are probably just making your life harder. My advice (and I know I don't always take it) is to take each family gathering, occasion, fight, issue or whatever as a separate event. If you have a problem, talk about it, resolve it and move on. And remember, you are in it for life with these people, so make the most of it!

On the other hand. . . You can't let people break down your family boundaries, but that is a whole other post :)