Showing posts with label Things I've learned. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things I've learned. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Why I stay home.
Being a stay-at-home-mom is probably one of the most important things in the world to me, second only to being a good wife. Because it is so important to me I am very sensitive about the subject, I have gotten a lot of criticism from people who are supposed to be close to me and also rude comments about how boring it must be blah blah blah.
Well my only response to the boring comments is my personal opinion and that is "You can't possibly get bored unless you are sitting around ignoring your kids all day. There is always something to do." Sure you might get bored of the routine every once in a while, but all you have to do is switch it up. When you're a SAHM you are the boss, you make the schedule, choose the days events and are the only one who decides if it is boring or not.
Something I read in Dr. Laura's In Praise of Stay-At-Home-Moms made a lot of sense to me. Dr. Laura said "More often than not, these "grandmothers," are acting out their guilt for not raising you." The quote was in regard to SAHM's who are getting the guilt trip from their own mothers about staying home. That thought just might be true, in my case at least I hear a lot of the negative comments from older women who didn't stay home with their kids or women around my age who don't plan on staying home with their kids.
I'm not saying being a SAHM is the only way, or the only right way, or the best way for everyone, but it is for me and my family.
I used to want to have a career, have a few kids and put them in daycare, that was my dream as a teen. I did not want to stay home. Once I got married and started thinking about having my own family the idea of having babies to then leave them in the care of someone else all day was too much for me. I didn't want to do it. Luckily, I married a wonderful man who completely supports my decision to stay home and raise our children, even if that means he has to work harder and we will have fewer things. I am one of the lucky ones, I know that.
Even though I know I am one of the lucky ones who gets to stay home with my child it doesn't make it any easier to hear the bullshit negative comments. Just like I don't judge moms who love their careers and want to keep them after having children, I don't want to be judged for wanting to stay home with my kids over a career.
Another thing in Dr. Laura's book really hit me hard and it was "Being a SAHM was fabulous-even though it was very difficult. It was my second chance to have a mother-child relationship. The first one was a bust. But the second one? Well my son is in the military and says, "I love you, Mom," ever time we end a phone conversation."
Bingo. Right. There. That is is. That is what I want, it is why I am doing this. I want to give my child everything I never had. I want to be there for him no matter the day, whether he is happy or sad, sick or health, loving me or hating me. I want to be there. He will know that no matter what, mom is there and always will be.
So like I said, this is my dream come true. I might not seem like the most ambitious person in the world, but really I am. I am dedicating my life to my husband and my children and nothing else. Anything else will just be a very distant third. After all, what other job can you think of where you can sit at your computer (during nap time) and write about your life while you rock out to and Eric Clapton playlist?
Well my only response to the boring comments is my personal opinion and that is "You can't possibly get bored unless you are sitting around ignoring your kids all day. There is always something to do." Sure you might get bored of the routine every once in a while, but all you have to do is switch it up. When you're a SAHM you are the boss, you make the schedule, choose the days events and are the only one who decides if it is boring or not.
Something I read in Dr. Laura's In Praise of Stay-At-Home-Moms made a lot of sense to me. Dr. Laura said "More often than not, these "grandmothers," are acting out their guilt for not raising you." The quote was in regard to SAHM's who are getting the guilt trip from their own mothers about staying home. That thought just might be true, in my case at least I hear a lot of the negative comments from older women who didn't stay home with their kids or women around my age who don't plan on staying home with their kids.
I'm not saying being a SAHM is the only way, or the only right way, or the best way for everyone, but it is for me and my family.
I used to want to have a career, have a few kids and put them in daycare, that was my dream as a teen. I did not want to stay home. Once I got married and started thinking about having my own family the idea of having babies to then leave them in the care of someone else all day was too much for me. I didn't want to do it. Luckily, I married a wonderful man who completely supports my decision to stay home and raise our children, even if that means he has to work harder and we will have fewer things. I am one of the lucky ones, I know that.
Even though I know I am one of the lucky ones who gets to stay home with my child it doesn't make it any easier to hear the
Another thing in Dr. Laura's book really hit me hard and it was "Being a SAHM was fabulous-even though it was very difficult. It was my second chance to have a mother-child relationship. The first one was a bust. But the second one? Well my son is in the military and says, "I love you, Mom," ever time we end a phone conversation."
Bingo. Right. There. That is is. That is what I want, it is why I am doing this. I want to give my child everything I never had. I want to be there for him no matter the day, whether he is happy or sad, sick or health, loving me or hating me. I want to be there. He will know that no matter what, mom is there and always will be.
So like I said, this is my dream come true. I might not seem like the most ambitious person in the world, but really I am. I am dedicating my life to my husband and my children and nothing else. Anything else will just be a very distant third. After all, what other job can you think of where you can sit at your computer (during nap time) and write about your life while you rock out to and Eric Clapton playlist?
Monday, June 27, 2011
Terrible Mother??
Moms,
Do you ever feel like the most terrible mother that has ever walked the earth? Maybe that is a little extreme, I do actually know that I am not a terrible mother, but some days (or weeks if you're me) I just feel like I can't do anything right.
If I can recap some of the joyous things that happened in the past week. My son fell getting out of the pool-big scratch on his forehead; my son got stuck in his crib-bruise on his leg; my son scratched his face in his sleep because I forgot to trim his nails; my son got a big bump on his head because he was so slippery when drying off after a pool trip that I dropped him.
I don't know how this kid is going to survive growing up with me as a mother.
Or maybe I don't know how I am going to survive mothering such a rambunctious little boy.
Hi, my name is Ella. Sometimes I suck at being a mother. But I do love my son with all my heart and I always do the best I can. Some days are difficult, I'm not perfect nor do I try to be. I just wish we'd stop having accidents!
Do you ever feel like the most terrible mother that has ever walked the earth? Maybe that is a little extreme, I do actually know that I am not a terrible mother, but some days (or weeks if you're me) I just feel like I can't do anything right.
If I can recap some of the joyous things that happened in the past week. My son fell getting out of the pool-big scratch on his forehead; my son got stuck in his crib-bruise on his leg; my son scratched his face in his sleep because I forgot to trim his nails; my son got a big bump on his head because he was so slippery when drying off after a pool trip that I dropped him.
I don't know how this kid is going to survive growing up with me as a mother.
Or maybe I don't know how I am going to survive mothering such a rambunctious little boy.
Hi, my name is Ella. Sometimes I suck at being a mother. But I do love my son with all my heart and I always do the best I can. Some days are difficult, I'm not perfect nor do I try to be. I just wish we'd stop having accidents!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
What I have learned
Okay.
Now that I have had my sentimental moment lets talk about what I have learned as a mother.
There are so many things, a hundred million things, but here is a quick laundry list of some of the things that stick out in my memory.
1. The birth is a beautiful thing, no matter how "gross" you think it may me, it is wonderful.
2. Breastfeeding HURTS! (Seriously, it is worse than labor, but it gets better and you will be so happy you stick with it when the lbs start melting off)
3. Babies can projectile poop. My son pooped mid diaper change when he was six weeks old and it shot across the room on my brothers wall (of his brand. new. house.)
4. Every baby is different so you might as well vow not to compare your child to others.
5. You will get advice from EVERYONE. Just listen and ignore it, unless it really feels right to you.
6. Mothers intuition is a very powerful thing. Listen to it above everything else.
7. Doctors don't know everything. Ask questions, follow up, and get second opinions. Never leave your health or your child's health in another persons hands.
8. Mandate monthly (at least) date nights. Even if you are single, go out with a friend. You need to let yourself have a break for the sake of your sanity and your childs.
9. Make a routine and stick to it. This way you wont leave the bottles at home, forget to bring enough diapers, or forget to buckle baby into the carseat.
10. Love every minute with your baby because the time flies by. Before you know it you are baking 50 cupcakes and learning all the words to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse CD.
Now that I have had my sentimental moment lets talk about what I have learned as a mother.
There are so many things, a hundred million things, but here is a quick laundry list of some of the things that stick out in my memory.
1. The birth is a beautiful thing, no matter how "gross" you think it may me, it is wonderful.
2. Breastfeeding HURTS! (Seriously, it is worse than labor, but it gets better and you will be so happy you stick with it when the lbs start melting off)
3. Babies can projectile poop. My son pooped mid diaper change when he was six weeks old and it shot across the room on my brothers wall (of his brand. new. house.)
4. Every baby is different so you might as well vow not to compare your child to others.
5. You will get advice from EVERYONE. Just listen and ignore it, unless it really feels right to you.
6. Mothers intuition is a very powerful thing. Listen to it above everything else.
7. Doctors don't know everything. Ask questions, follow up, and get second opinions. Never leave your health or your child's health in another persons hands.
8. Mandate monthly (at least) date nights. Even if you are single, go out with a friend. You need to let yourself have a break for the sake of your sanity and your childs.
9. Make a routine and stick to it. This way you wont leave the bottles at home, forget to bring enough diapers, or forget to buckle baby into the carseat.
10. Love every minute with your baby because the time flies by. Before you know it you are baking 50 cupcakes and learning all the words to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse CD.
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