Well, the little girl finally made her grand entrance!
Layla Beverly arrived four days late, on September 23rd, 2012 at 11:22pm. She weighed 7lbs 5 oz (exact weight as her older brother) and was 21 1/2 inches long.
I will post a birth story when I get chance to write it out. We are thrilled to have our baby girl home with us. Big brother Danny adores her, and tells me ten times a day "Laylay cute."
I am part of what I like to call my "mom group." The ladies in the group of mothers that I know and love are amazing. We all come from very different backgrounds, but we have our kids in common. We have known each other for three years and have been through a lot together. These ladies have helped me through some hard times for certain. The best part about this group of moms is watching each others children grow up. We have kids the same age, some of us have older kids as well, or younger. We are able to compare experiences, seek advice, and bitch about things in our lives, without judgement. It is a beautiful thing, and I feel deeply blessed to have found these ladies.
Because a lot of our communication in the group is online we have several acronyms to make life easier. One of these is DH, which, depending on the mood, can stand for Dear Husband or Darn Husband. This post is about my Dear Husband.
He is often, in my mind, darn husband. Certainly not perfect, but then again no one is. I am not the kind of girl who raves about her husband to other people all the time (you know those people on facebook who wont shut up about how great they have it-I am so not that). But I am now inspired to rave about him a little bit on my blog.
This song, by Hootie, or Darius Rucker took my breath away the first time I heard it. It is perfect for my husband and I. There have been several songs that have come along that just speak to us as a couple (like our wedding song, Faithfully by Journey...that is for another post).
"We are one heartbeat in the darkness We are one lasting answered prayer We are one unbroken promise And we are two true believers"
When Stephen and I met, we were both in bad places as far as teenagers go. We both needed something big to happen in our lives to get us on track and realize our potential. Neither of us was into drugs or anything, but we were not in good places in our hearts, and we will both remember that we didn't think we had anyone who cared. Then we found each other. I know he wasn't much of a person to pray, but I certainly was, and I prayed that I would find someone every single day, someone to love and who would love me back. He is my lasing answered prayer. Together we vowed to love each other, till death do us part. Let me tell you, the first two years of this was NOT easy. He was immediately shipped off to Japan and we saw each other about six times in those first two years. When he returned to the states we didn't know each other at all. He was thrilled to be home and I was thinking "what the hell did I do?" A few months of getting to know each other as if we were strangers, and a lot of reminding ourselves of the vows we took on our wedding day (in good times and bad, till death. . .) and we were so happy and in love again.
"It wasn't easy getting here today Sometimes you stumbled or I lost my way But every roadblock was a chance to say; Take my hand I'm here beside you."
Like I said, it wasn't easy, but here we are. This has been an incredible year for my husband and I. Really, the past two years were difficult, with me being in school and he working to become a police officer. We have struggled in many ways and had a lot of instability, but this year all the fruits of our labor were seen. I graduated from college and he became a police officer. We worked our butts off for this, and I can say, without a doubt, that I would not have been able to graduate without his support. Not only did he take over well more than his fair share of work around the house, he always told me I could do it, never let me doubt myself, and did so many extra things for and with our son to give me time to study and write papers.
This year has been an emotional roller coaster for sure. With both of us reaching really big goals that we worked on for several years, and with the loss of people who were once staples in our lives. We have learned who really loves us and who will be there no matter what. We have lost and gained people in our lives. Some of the losses have been devastating, but my dear husband has always taken everything one step at a time and has never let anything happening outside of our intimate family have a great affect on him. He is so strong. When I am losing my mind and heart over something he is tough and gets us through. I don't know how he does it, but he does.
"We worked and made it through the toughest parts Now every days another chance to start, To look around and see that where we are Is where we were trying to get to"
When he was in Japan for two years, and I was left behind we always said we were getting the toughest part of our lives over with early and there would be nothing but happy times afterwards. Maybe that is true, but the last two years gave us a run for our money as well. With all the bad, there has been good too. Like I mentioned we have reached goals that seemed impossible at times. We are adding to our family with our daughter (if she EVER decides to come), and we are watching our baby boy turn into a little boy. Nothing could produce more joy than seeing Danny grow up. Hearing him talk, say new words each day, play, imagine. . . everything. It is funny, even when things aren't perfect, they never will be, but we always thought that one day they would, right now I am looking around the world and my life and realize that where we are is right where we were trying to get to.
And just like that Danny is sleeping through the night!!
I don't even know what happened. We have been trying for a while, but nothing worked.
Danny has co-slept with us since he was six-months-old. Out of necessity we had to allow this, even though we weren't happy with it. When he was six-months we didn't have a room for him, so his crib was in our room. You can't exactly ignore a baby who wakes in the middle of the night when you are in the same room, the baby will NOT go back to sleep if he can see you. So there we were, co-sleeping. When he finally got his own room around ten months he continued to wake at the same time every night. I could have broken the habit then I suppose, but being a full-time student meant that I was completely exhausted, and frankly couldn't spare to lose any sleep at night trying to get him back to sleep.
Fast forward to graduation and the desperate attempts to get him to stop coming to our bed in the middle of the night began. I couldn't really imagine him coming to our bed while having a newborn and it not screwing up his schedule and making my life a living hell. He was stubborn, an in the last month I gave up. I pretty much decided that he could sleep in our bed till he was ten if that is what was going to happen. I would take it all as it came, but I was just too darn tired to keep trying.
And now he sleeps through the night. Other that one night in the last two weeks (after a nightmare) he came to our room. He loves to come get me in the morning and get praise for staying in his bed like a big boy. I don't know what changed for him, but husband and I are both thrilled, for obvious reasons. I feel better about life in general knowing that I can nurse our daughter all night (if she EVER decides to be born), without disturbing Danny and his schedule.
I will admit to being slightly sad. It is just another reminder that my child is growing up so fast, and doesn't need me in every little way. I know this is part of life, and I need to get over it, but I don't think it will ever be easy to watch my children grow up and begin to need me less and less.
So I am still pregnant. I am still a week away from my due date, but my midwife said to me several times in the last few weeks that I "wont make it to my due date." Because of that I have been waiting on pins and needles thinking that I would go into labor soon. But nothing. The other night, while trying to fall asleep I had three contractions that got me all excited thinking labor was coming, but then I fell asleep. Obviously it wasn't labor.
I do actually like, possibly love being pregnant, so I am not miserable. And with my husbands work schedule, it would be nice if girlfriend doesn't come until the weekend, but still, I am so excited and anxious to meet her!
In some ways it feels like I have been pregnant forever, since I got pregnant in January, it has literally been a whole year of baby making! It has been a great pregnancy over all, so I am thankful. I wont dare say it is my last pregnancy, I will truly be disappointed if we don't have more kids, but the only thing my husband and I have ever said for sure is that we will have at least two, we never wanted to have an only child since we are both one of five and know how important it was in our lives to have siblings.
38 Weeks
The above picture proves that my husband's photography skills are lacking. But whoa, look at that belly! Seriously, I can't believe how big it is and she isn't even here yet! If Danny points out one more time that I am "BIG" I might cry a little bit.
Please, little girl, come out and meet your mom, dad and brother soon. After having such a great pregnancy, with no diabetes, and testing negative for anything that would require I take an IV during labor, I would hate to have to be induced at 42 weeks simply because you are stubborn.
Every night at bedtime we say prayers with Danny. It is part of our nightly routine, we never skip it. After dinner Danny gets a bath and plays a bit. We then brush teeth, read stories and then say our prayers. We are Catholic, but my family was protestant until I was about eight-years-old. That being said, we say formal prayers as well as prayers right from the heart. Danny is starting to memorize the Catholic prayers that we say, he says the words that he can, right at the appropriate time. It is so sweet to see and hear. He also remembers all the people in our family who we pray for, each night. If I say "bless uncle Bri Bri," he immediately says "Haley," because he knows we pray for them together.
It really warms my heart.
Danny has had a few nightmares in the past two months. Two nights he had what seemed to be night terrors. He woke up screaming, but I guess was still asleep because when we went in to check on him he tried to fight us off. One night this week he came to our room in tears. The next morning he told me, after I asked what scared him, that he saw a ghost. No more Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown for him. . .
The night after his first nightmare, after prayers I told him that if he ever gets scared he just has to say Jesus and everything will be ok. I told him if he says a prayer when he is scared then the scary thing will go away and he can go back to sleep.
Tonight, as soon as I closed his bedroom door he began to cry and came to his door. As I walked him back to bed I told him not to be scared, and that everything would be alright. I told him I was still home, just not in his room. As he laid back down on his bed he closed his eyes and said "Jesus, Jesus."
It might just have been the most precious thing I have ever seen. Not only does it remind me that he is getting bigger and understanding so much of what I say to him, but it also showed me that he is such a sweet little boy, who is going to grow up loving God and having faith. I know I can't be sure that he grows up to be a "good little Catholic," but I can do my best to give him an example of that. I love that he is only two and knows to pray and ask for God's help when he is scared.
My only hope is that this kind of sweetness and innocence can stay with him, even if just a little bit, through middle school and high school, kids those ages are scary little monsters!
I am a couponer. I don't have 30 things of mustard under my bed, but I don't go to the grocery store without making a very detailed list. I go to the store website and load all the coupons I can onto the store card, I study the weekly ad and I use coupons found in the Sunday paper.
Anything to save a little money.
My biggest goal when shopping for food is usually to buy nothing frozen or prepared (other than frozen veggies), but now that my due date is just a couple weeks away the grocery list looked something like this:
I recently wrote something on my facebook timeline about Danny being breastfed and only eating homemade, organic baby food. There were lots of comments. Some were serious, some were making fun of me (oh no, next he will ask for white bread). I feed Danny healthy food. He gets treats, but not a lot of junk. I spent about 30 minutes at the store one day trying to figure out which fruit snacks were the least un-healthy for him.
I'm no Kate Gosslin (not even close), but I think Danny is probably fed healthier than the average kid.
So it sort of kills me to know that once the baby is here his dinners will consist mostly of frozen crap, at least every other week while his dad works nights and I am still adjusting to life with two kids. Danny will be in hog heaven, and I will feel mortified for a little while. Life will continue to go on.
While Danny is doing great with the whole potty thing in the evenings, he went twice tonight, and even told me when he had to go! He refuses to do it in the mornings. Which means no one has had a special donut treat in our house. The day after I first told Danny he could have a donut in the morning if he went on the potty, my husband was almost begging Danny to give it a try. He must have read my blog when he got home from work that night (what a guy), because I had no idea he knew about the donut proposition, and was wondering why he wanted Danny to use the toilet so bad.
Like I said before, I am not pushing this right now. Danny showed his first signs of super jealousy today, while I was wrapping presents for his cousins birthday party. Danny saw that I was wrapping books and went ballistic begging me to read the books to him. It didn't matter that we have the story he wanted me to read in a collection book, he wanted that one read to him. It freaked me out a little, he hasn't seemed jealous when people have given us gifts for his little sister, but then again, she isn't here yet.
We only have a couple of weeks before we find out if Danny will be a green eyed monster. I am nervous, I can't lie. I am trying to hard to spend extra time with Danny now, even if that means I give him his bath at night, even though it is really hard and uncomfortable with my gigantic baby belly. I just hate the idea of my little guy being sad, or thinking he isn't special anymore. I hope I can find a good balance with two kids--any suggestions are of course welcomed!
